The Power of Patience: Why Growth Often Happens Below the Surface

When we think about progress—especially in children—it is easy to look for quick results. A child begins therapy, joins a social skills group, or starts working on emotional regulation, and we hope to see visible change right away.

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, offers a helpful metaphor: the bamboo plant spends years growing a complex root system underground before making any visible progress. Then, seemingly overnight, it grows rapidly. What appears to be sudden is actually the result of years of quiet preparation.

The Bamboo Effect in Child Development

This metaphor closely mirrors the growth that often unfolds in children and teenagers. Whether they are learning to manage anxiety, develop friendships, or improve academic habits, much of their progress occurs beneath the surface.

Visible change may not occur right away. That does not mean progress is absent. Many children are building internal skills—self-awareness, emotional regulation, or new thinking patterns—that form the foundation for lasting development.

• A child who seems disengaged may be gaining insight into their own reactions.
• A teen who struggles socially may be observing and processing group interactions more intentionally.
• A student receiving academic support may be slowly reorganizing how they approach tasks.

When a breakthrough occurs—a calm moment during stress, a confident exchange with a peer, or an academic risk taken—it can feel like a leap forward. Yet that moment typically reflects a long period of effort, practice, and internal growth.

Celebrating the Unseen Effort

It is helpful to notice and celebrate the early signs of change:

• Pausing before reacting.
• Asking for support rather than withdrawing.
• Taking a social risk, even if it does not go as planned.

These moments, though easy to overlook, signal important steps forward—much like the first green shoots of bamboo.

A Thought for Parents and Caregivers

Progress is often slow, quiet, and uneven. That does not make it any less real. With the right support and consistency, even small internal shifts can lead to meaningful transformation over time.

For parents, teachers, and caregivers, it is worth remembering that some of the most important roots are the ones that grow unseen.